I've just finished my second therapy tonight and I've never felt so good for such a long time.
Out of all things I've decided doing for these last three years, going to therapy is my best decision so far.
The therapy was a big shook on my soul. It's like waking the "old me", the "best me" which have been paralyzed for a bit too long. And I can't thank you enough my dear therapist TT
It turns out that my grief of losing my father is one of the reasons. That broken dream in the beginning of 2020 is also the reason. It truly meant that way when I said "It feels like all my achievements in life have gone astray". It happened and I have to let go of my "confidence" and my "worth" asleep for some time.
Oh dear..
I cried tonight.. a bit much.. not too much. But this time, I cried out of gratefulness of welcoming an old friend. Everything else seems to be insignificant now. I feel like all this time, I don't put myself first risking my wellbeing at stake.
I have the control over myself again tonight! Allahu...
Alhamdulillah ya Rabb..
Mon.. Strong Mon, Cuek Mon.. You are worth! You are enough.
Once I've done the therapy, I went having ramen on my favorite ramen restaurant in the town, all by myself and I am okay.
Mon.. welcome home, baby..
Let's have the ride of life again!
Ulee Kareng, 29 Agustus 2023
