Being a month and in Crisis (haha..)

How do you start your day here in Australia? It's a bit struggle for me to wake up early. Not only is all about the cold weather, but I find myself never have enough sleep lately.. Like everyday. It's been exactly a month, and I am settled now, er... Really!?

I usually take the bus to go to school (I like it to say it school). And things that I am used to doing here now are greeting the bus drivers and saying thank you every time, just like others do. They are all nice people. TBH, I think that the nicest people of Brisbane are the bus drivers. I love them. Some seem enjoy their works so much and radiate the happiness they feel to the passengers. Most will say "Enjoy your day", "Study hard" and so on etc.. I only get the exact same words from my Mom back home. Here.. I get it from the bus drivers, everyday. And I am so grateful that Brisbane have their most beautiful people as their bus drivers.

The next things I face are always causing me to generate lots and lots of energy dealing with my own feeling. How would you feel if you experience these things. You are so happy starting the day and suddenly you pass some people chatting and when they see you they're suddenly silent. Or how do you feel when people seeing you in the weirdest way you can imagine? I saw this advertisement 'The Invisible Discriminator' - Stop. Think. Respect. one day in my first two weeks being in Australia. And I actually experience the same thing couple of times like that old man in the bus. If he were you, how do you feel?  Or how about this? I run to school one morning, catched the bus and had nothing with me, because I just wanted to meet a friend to give her some money for the house we would rent. Then I was in the lift, in Duhigg building heading up to level 3_my friend was there, when suddenly the lift door opened the previous level. These two women were so into their chat. They were actually going into the lift when they realized I was there, and to my surprise, one of them was saying "Oh my.." with her shocked face. Okay.. Maybe they were so into the talk that it shocked them to see someone was already there in the lift. But, how do you feel.. if you were me. NO.. they were half way into the lift but decided not to get in. Maybe I exaggerate things, but I do feel it every time  "they" see me, they have something in mind that causes them to see the ground. What's that!? What I know is that... I feel so irritating by everything lately.

I always end up my days feeling so tired. So freaking tired of the thoughts of,  is it only me being so sensitive lately? But fortunately, I have some friends that so open up, so welcoming, supporting and helping. Those first four Vietnamese friends are great people. My friend from OMan and China, I find so comfortable being around them. And my housemate, they are my family now. They are the best that asked when they feel things need to be asked. And that's how you treat people properly.

Being judgmental is so normal. It's so human. But maybe when you find things are so different, please don't run, just ask. Assuming never solves anything.

I had a very nice talk with a safety bus driver last night. He was so kind. We started talking about weather, then about how people should "behave" in a new place. When you come to a new place, it is you who have to adjust and deal with the situation. You don't expect things to change and suit you. And Indonesians have the same proverb that sounds "Dimana kaki dipijak disitu langit dijunjung". Literally it means, You respect the laws where you are. I try my best to fit in, but the looks, the sudden moves you make when I am around are so irritating.

Or maybe.. everything I feel is just a crisis phase I need to deal with in my "U-curve" of cross cultural adjustment. Yeah, maybe I was just in paranoia... Have a good day mate...  Everything is gonna be alright.. Everything is gonna be okay. Amiiin.

:)

From County Fair in US to Ekka in AUS

They have different names, but I see that they have so much in common.

I went to Brisbane Exhibition of agricultural day this afternoon which is called Ekka. This exhibition got a lot of attractions that are worth to try. From ghost ride to lucky draw, from lots of food stalls to any other games_you've got to pay for sure. As its name, what seems for me as "farming", the main attractions of the exhibition was cattle like cows, bulls, horse race, and Llama. for the last name mentioned, I recall my memory to my experience back then in 2008 at Corvallis, Oregon.

Ekka is a unique name to simplify the word "exhibition" (http://www.ekka.com.au/about-ekka/history.asp), while the country fair I visited 6 years ago is known as "Benton County Fair"

I was so excited to attend both of the events. Pictures would tell the rest of the story..

I didn't have the guts to take pic with Llama in 2008. FYI: We don't have Llama in Indonesia, so it is a rare occasion to take picture with Llama.. :p

Harusnya ke Ekka bisa gratis macam ke Benton County Fair, cuma karena kita masih awam ya mesti bayar deh.... :p

Hm.....

Kuda meeeen....

Wahana....wahana... wahana....

Poto-poto terus... Gak ada duit buat cobain...hemat...hemat...mahasiswa...

Re...Late...isn't...ship

Maybe I'm just a kind of girl who thinks that there is no and never be that sweet happy ending story for everyone. I mean.. let's get rational. When you pick up 10 apples from one tree, there must be one that is not totally perfect, from the outside. Nope... I'm not talking about the taste. Go to that fruit stall near you, and try to pick one. More than 90% people I know would choose that one apple with perfect size and color and perfectly riped. Did I miss something? The thing is.. when you eat it, they maybe taste the same. 

Yeah.. Once it comes to being picky and stuff, we always being judgmental, and seriously.. There is nothing wrong with that. It is so natural that all people are gonna choose that one apple that look good ignoring the fact that sometime it tastes worse than the one that just stay there in the basket, got rotten during time. And.. poor apple, all the sweetness it has, goes astray. 

That apple that ends rotten just because people got so judgmental-that-is-so-called-normal is just another analogy of the situation where in life, things may end up so unfair. When talking about that unfair thing, we apparently use our own perspectives at most of time. We don't care what people say, and all those motivating words goes nowhere because we think we are the most pathetic human being on earth for our misfortunes.

Then let's take a look on one thing that is called fairy tale. When we were kids, we were so young and pure to believe that everything is just gonna be perfect at its time. Or..I might say, we were to dumb to understand that life is not just meeting that prince charming that appears out of nowhere and you fall for him in a snap.. and bang.. You got married. Happily ever after.

Yeah.. the truth is, we come to realize that happiness is not a matter of material or achievement. It is actually not about getting rich or going abroad for scholarship. We all absolutely know that being happy is a matter of perspective. You believe you are happy, then you are happy. But ..truly, what happening in our real life often startles us. Some people just keep on believing and acting that they never get enough of this life. At some points they tend to ignore the happiness that are so real on their face just because they think they don't have what they want yet. 

Today, I am in a position that most of friends would say "Ah.. you are that lucky one". Yeah.. I am. I am happy. Little that people know, I struggled so hard in getting this for some reasons that may sounds stupid for them. And then what? And so what? This is my decision. I respect it. You can really get offended by someone's decision in life. Really, that is the most childish thing a grown up would do. And am I that happy? Nah.. not really.. I still want more, and that is life. You stop wanting "things", you are not living.

I watched a movie tonight that so intrigues me in certain ways. Not only because I come from a culture that is so freaking different but also the fact that all the women, generally, feel that insecurity when in comes to relationship these days. Pffft.. It's along way to get to my point, isn't it?

I do believe that everyone has his/her own book of life. You write it, I write it, we write it. It is just a matter of time in what chapter you want that turn out point in your book would be, you decide that. I may be in a chapter that most of people will say an"achievement", but I myself feel it the other way around. It is just another starting point I have to get through life, and I love it for sure. But again, people have perspectives. They will ask another question of life about your life. Nothing is wrong about that. The truth is I get so distracted when people ask me about relationship. Anyway..  Back to the apple, I am that apple who might be 5 out of 10 apples who got sold out too late. But who cares!? I am not an apple. People are living. And I am living. I will be in that boat, on the ship of you guys, who are so lucky who get the real adventures of life earlier. But that doesn't make me misfortune. I am late.. but my late arriving was due to my whole fun adventures. So lovely I won't regret any second of it. Now.. I'm on that different ship to be on that one you all have. Someday.. I'll be there.. hohoho.. ;)

Be happy for wherever you are now. You don't know that people out there actually want to be in yours. You never know. Because you don't live mine, I don't live yours. Then.. Let's live in harmony, and don't you ever get offended by any "fortunate events" someone else gets, because you don't know. You really don't know... Happiness is all about the way you see it. Get your chin up.. be happy. There are a lot of great things out there. Be grateful because you never know when time will stop for you.

Australia Day 1

pic from http://aceh.tribunnews.com/2011/11/07/jamaah-shalat-id-sesaki-baiturrahman

Pertama sekali menginjakkan kaki di Australia, saya tiba di Sydney. Deg-degan campur baur perasaan karena baru saja Subuh di dalam pesawat dan saat itu seharusnya saya sedang bersiap-siap shalat Ied. Tapi yang terjadi, saya berburu waktu ambil bagasi dan menuju ke bagian imigrasi buat cap di passport dan clearance. Alhamdulillah semuanya lancar. Sampai di titik semua barang saya diendus-endusin anjing. Oh Tuhaaan.. hanya Dia saja yang tahu setakut apa saya pada anjing.

Disitulah musibah ini terjadi..

Pesawat selanjutnya ke Brisbane boarding 7.45. Itu artinya saya cuma punya waktu sekitar 15-20 menit. Keluar dari terminal 1 ke terminal 2 yang pertama menyambut saya adalah udara dingin yang berhembus.. brr... Perasaan saya campur aduk waktu itu. 1 Syawal 1435 H benar-benar awal yang baru bagi saya. Di depan petugas saya hendak mengeluarkan boarding pass, sampai saya ingat... Tas hitam saya mana!?

Disaster!!! Innalillahi...Allahuakbar... Allah...Allah.. Bantu saya.. Hanya itu saja yang terpikir. Semua barang berharga dalam tas itu. Semua.. semuanya... TT~TT. Terbayang wajah mak dan bapak.

Saya meluncur kembali ke Terminal 1, sambil terengah-engah saya tanyai setiap petugas..Buggage service adalah tempat pertama yang saya datangi. Mereka menanyakan beberapa hal dan mengarahkan saya ke Airport service di level di atas gedung tersebut. Tiba disana, seorang wanita yang sudah berumur lanjut menyambut saya... "Ya Allah... semoga ini pertanda baik", dan nenek itu menanyakan saya apa yang terjadi, sambil terengah-enagh saya bercerita dan tangis itu pun meledak sudah. Nenek yang baik hati, dia memanggil temannya yang tidak jauh berbeda umur. Dia minta kakek itu mengantar saya ke suatu tempat. Alas... tempat yang kakek itu tuju adalah tempat pertama yang saya datangi. "Saya sudah kesini tadi pak... mereka bilang tidak bisa bantu". Si kakek bingung, mukanya jadi gak enak, dan sangat menyesal. Kami baru saja hendak ke tempat lain, saat petugas di dalam ruangan tersebut menunjuk-nunjuk saya.

Lebaran saya, yang pertama di negeri Kangguru. Hari pertama saya di tanah orang lain. Dan Allah.. Allah.. Allah saja Yang punya kuasa. Seseorang telah menemukan tas saya dan mengembalikannya ke buggage service maskapai penerbangan yang saya tumpangi.

Saya tak sanggup berdiri, dan tersungkur ke lantai... Sujud syukur.. Terimaksih Allah, telah ajarkan saya kuat, telah ajarkan saya berserah dan berharap hanya padaMU semata. Semua yang ada di ruangan menyemangati saya. Orang-orang baik yang terus menepuk pundak saya. "Semua akan baik-baik saja" kata mereka.

Saya salami mereka satu-satu.. Minal Aidin wal Faidzin batin saya berseru.. Semoga Allah membahagiakan kalian semua. Si Kakek masih menunggu di luar ruangan. Menunggu dan menyaksikan semua kejadian dengan tenang. KAkek itu mengucapkan kalimat syukur pada saya. Oh kakek.. harusnya saya sekarang sedang sungkem pada Bapak saya yang seumuran anda. Saya salami dia.. salim seorang anak pada orang yang lebih tua... MAsyaAllah..

Saya jelas tertinggal pesawat, tapi entah dengan kebijakan apa, saya dialihkan ke penerbangan berikutnya tanpa membayar sepeserpun. Mungkin memang saya yang tak mengerti.

Allah MAha Baik..

Allahu Akbar... Allahu Akbar... Allahu Akbar..wa lillailhamd...

Sepanjang perjalanan di pesawat air mata tumpah ruah,...

Ini lebaran dan Allah tunjukkan saya banyak hal di hari indah ini...

Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yangmanakah yang engkau dustakan

8 Agustus 2014