What is the purpose of this hardship? Are you really in this road by your own decision? Or is it the world that conspired that lead you to this point in life? Once you think it is great to pursue and live your dream, but then out of the blue life is becoming so flat that lose its sparks. At that point in life you think that you want to take a break.
It is not about having holiday at beaches and getting some vitamin Sea; It is truly not having me-time and getting your self secluded from the whole world; It is not being ungrateful or being a piece of living-shit that doesn't know how to thank the stars how great your life today. It is simply you just want to stop the time, not because it is boring, or too hectic.. or just because you don't like it. It is just a matter of self-reflection whether you are now in the right path that leads you to the right way. It is simply a mater whether time will reveal the secrets of life to you, and you just so impatient in waiting any longer.
I thought I miss spring, but here I am in the gate of this flowery season. But I do not feel the bliss. I thought I need to be alone, but here I am all by myself. But I keep missing people and places and moments. I thought I want chores and sweat to drain from me, but darn it... that doesn't feel like the old days. I lose my appetite over even the tastiest food for my thick tongue. I thought I am all okay, but DAMN It! DAMN IT.. I miss home so much!!
This is the life I dreamed about in the past with books, articles, and computer to work with for academic eureka.. Being a erudite woman that can at least initiate change for her family with her writing. But dude.. I even get sucks in writing more and more. I even think that I start losing my ability in academic. This is degradation of self actualization. I lose my excitement in involving in any social activity and event. I lose my excitement in reading more and more books. I lose friends and the will of getting that bond with people. The more I get to know people, the more I learn that I have a huge trust issue. I am becoming someone I was not. I am someone who get lost on my way to reach that fulfillment of life. I am lost in me.. Or
Or it is just life is in its own default.. It is just how it is and everyone has to walk through it...
Be grateful and count our bless..
Someone out there may really want to live your life, so live it at the fullest.
Slap your face even more..
Duhig Tower, UQ St Lucia,
10 August 2015
It is not about having holiday at beaches and getting some vitamin Sea; It is truly not having me-time and getting your self secluded from the whole world; It is not being ungrateful or being a piece of living-shit that doesn't know how to thank the stars how great your life today. It is simply you just want to stop the time, not because it is boring, or too hectic.. or just because you don't like it. It is just a matter of self-reflection whether you are now in the right path that leads you to the right way. It is simply a mater whether time will reveal the secrets of life to you, and you just so impatient in waiting any longer.
I thought I miss spring, but here I am in the gate of this flowery season. But I do not feel the bliss. I thought I need to be alone, but here I am all by myself. But I keep missing people and places and moments. I thought I want chores and sweat to drain from me, but darn it... that doesn't feel like the old days. I lose my appetite over even the tastiest food for my thick tongue. I thought I am all okay, but DAMN It! DAMN IT.. I miss home so much!!This is the life I dreamed about in the past with books, articles, and computer to work with for academic eureka.. Being a erudite woman that can at least initiate change for her family with her writing. But dude.. I even get sucks in writing more and more. I even think that I start losing my ability in academic. This is degradation of self actualization. I lose my excitement in involving in any social activity and event. I lose my excitement in reading more and more books. I lose friends and the will of getting that bond with people. The more I get to know people, the more I learn that I have a huge trust issue. I am becoming someone I was not. I am someone who get lost on my way to reach that fulfillment of life. I am lost in me.. Or
Or it is just life is in its own default.. It is just how it is and everyone has to walk through it...
Be grateful and count our bless..
Someone out there may really want to live your life, so live it at the fullest.
Slap your face even more..
Duhig Tower, UQ St Lucia,
10 August 2015
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