Your time is near

It was the first third of Ramadhan and I had so much turmoil already. My dearest cat, Taro passed away after being hospitalized 2 times, for more than two weeks. He couldn't make it any further. His time in this world has ended. Days after that, I got so many extra classes that made me get out of the house, so I didn't have to suffer realizing multiple times that Taro wasn't around anymore. 

A couple days after that, I had a nap and woke up from a weird vivid dream. I got one of my teeth pulled out. It instantly fell out of my gum out of nowhere. Legend has said that such a dream means your close one will be gone. That scared me for some time, but the feelings faded away.

Then...
I kept thinking about the unfinished matter I've had for so long time. Oh you.. If only you know how these feelings have been hanging. I can't go.. I just can't..
I need your help.

And.. these days, I've felt so empty and alone. Oh Allah, I need your help. And among all of these times, I felt like maybe my time is near. Maybe my time is near. But, every time I think about it, I wonder.. Oh Allah, am I not deserving to have what I want. 

This whole inside my chest. That feeling of nothingness had caused pains and I am numb.. I am numb.

ot make it