Knowing yourself better to know your God better; The Art of Gratefulness

There was once a drowning man. A boat came by and tried to save him, but he said "no thank you, God will save me." Another boat tried to save him but he said "no thank you, God will save me" and he drowned. When he got to heaven he said "why didn't you save me God?" and God said "I sent you two boats, you big dummy!"

(The lines in The Pursuit of Happiness as told by Chris Gardner's son)

It's been my fourth month working "a new job". Well, it's technically an old place I used to work at, with a different tone, distinctive color, and various spices I may call. It wasn't easy at first, of course. I had so many doubts over myself, I doubted my guts to made a huge decision to be in that place again. But now I think about it again, I guess, it was always Allah in the first place. There are so many nights in the last four months I felt so tired and exhausting, but there are also so many nights where I went to sleep smiling. I've never been this relieved and it all came from the fact that now, it all came from the idea of to be grateful is as beautiful as art. Dang, I miss all this warm soothing feeling being around pure souls and energetic vibes. 

I know that there's no perfect things in life, not in this world. As believers and people of God, I do believe that the hereafter is the perfect one. However, I've felt enough and "enough" is always a strong word. 

"Enough" is the keyword in this difficult exam called life. "Enough" is the fuel in this long bumpy ride called life. "Enough" is always the cure for our tired heart in this unprecedented life. Enough is.. the perspective we use to be in peace with our condition.

We all would always think that our issues are so big that nobody would ever understand our pain, ignoring our needs to get help from the first place. We see people reach out their hands to save us, but sometimes we're so full of ourselves avoiding our basic need of being humans, to need help, to be help, and to help. We tend to misinterpret "enough" as the way it should be.

If only we're humble "enough", light is always there in the end of the tunnel. And most of the time, the light comes from the torch someone's holding. Can't we try a little harder to admit that "that someone" could be the baristas we met on the coffee shop this morning. That "one someone" could be the Office Boy we passed through this afternoon. "That someone" could be that one colleague we always tried to avoid. That "one someone" could be the annoying sibling we've always had. That "one someone" could be our best friend who was always there by our side. But again, we're so full of "me", "I", and "myself" that around us, "he", "she", or "they" are always present.

Avoiding all the helps, the kind intentions, thinking that it is what "enough" is really meant. Thinking "Oh.. Me and my God are enough". Pushing ourselves way too far from people when it could be the people who are actually God's helps over us. 

To live is a long run. It is a hard one. And we were told from the very beginning that "If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more." As if the line was never there, we're so proud and bragging that it's only us, only us alone who are deserving of Allah's countless grace and again, we ignored people helps.

If life is the canvas, then gratefulness is the correct stroke we use to turn our plain art to be something beautiful.

23:44 PM
Ulee Kareng, November 23, 2021