I've been dating and about to break up

For more than two years, I've been dating him. No one knows. No one seems to notice. As most of relationship ever built, I love him. So much, that I can stop smiling when it comes about him. I like every part of him. I know how it's hard sometimes for me to meet him. Yeah...in fact, we're meeting every night before I go to sleep, when I wake up. And he just knows how to boost my mood. Hopes that he gives are just so great for me to ignore. There's not even a day I stop thinking about him. he is my inspiration. The fuel for my hard days in the weeks. He is every reason I stay up late every night.

There were times when he was ready to live with me the whole life ahead. I trusted him, I believed the words. And to make it worse, he said it so many times and failed to prove it, but I still believe him. With all of my love. I love him with every breath that makes me alive.

Now... I'm just too tired to wait for those words to be come true. Now.. and the end of this year, I know that we will break up. Though it's not him that wants this all, I am the one who got too scared to live without him.

Today, he can't make it true again...like most of the times we spend together, he came to me with joy but then he slapped me on the face with the fact, still when I put a smile on my face. How pathetic.

These two years past, I find my life so exciting to live on, with him on my side. And now, when I decide to leave him soon.. I wonder where life will turn me to.

He is still there, that is the fact. I'm the one who is leaving away. Running from him, and I know no matter how far I run away from him, he will always be there waiting for me to come back in his arms.

He is my love. And his name is Dream. Dream of getting higher education.

Today I got a very tough words from a friend. He said, maybe it's not you that is wrong, maybe it's just not your time, or maybe it's not your path, it is just not your way to walk through. Yeah...maybe I have to come to realize that sometimes to let go just ease your way. And I know it, that it is my fault to expect too much. That it is my fault, to let my dream manipulating my entire life. I can't control it. I grab it to tight that it always slips away of my hand. And maybe, I just have to release it free.. let my dream be free...

I've been dating... with my dream, but now...we're about to break up.

Ulee Kareng, August 1, 2013Song for Mia

Week 3- Being a First Grader Teacher

School year has just begun. All students were in the class, excited. There were only two new students on the sight. The rest come from the same kindergarten, this school too.

I have been teaching here since 2011. That's what some people or even teachers here don't know about. Maybe because, I wasn't here along the days, only once  week. I first taught as religion and Arabic teacher, though I graduated from English Department. I know the basic in Arabic and Religion for kids, so I agreed to teach here. Months passed, and I come and leave to this school for several times. As sub at most of the time. Now, I feel privileged yet challenged to handle the grade 1 where most of students graduated from the same school. I have met those kids before, long when they were in Kindergarten 1, two years before when I was their class adviser for two months straight. Therefore, I thought it's not gonna be that hard to deal with. Alas... I was totally wrong.

I forgot the fact that this is their very early stage in adapting a new system from Kindergarten to elementary. That is not something unimportant to be concerned about.

They now, have abundant subjects to deal with. Don't ask me, I don't like this fact too. I hate the fact that education in most of developing countries tend to ignore that kids are kids. Beside getting so many subjects to master, they  still need their times to have fun. This is not my part to complain about, but to adapt it in my own way. And this is a point where I, as a teacher should elaborate and think hard how those "subjects" can be absorbed by the kids without causing "over-burdened" feelings or "harm". I mention "harm" in here, because I am one who believe that the most important phase in constructing students' academic skills begin when they are so young. Wrong turns in approaches and methods are just gonna lead those kids into the studying habits that no one seems to expect. Unfortunately, I saw it this week.

The first two weeks seemed to be okay, I thought I just need to have teacher-student conference after school with students who need more practice. Again, this is just not enough. 

This week, most of the subjects I reviewed should actually shows improvement, yet most of them found it is okay to memorize, but when it comes to writing. They messed up. I messed up. I wonder what makes those brilliant kids end up this way. But then I come to realize, they were taught to memorize before, not to understand. However, they show excellent penmanship and speaking skill. Yeah... they are way beyond great in speaking. I mean for the kids at their ages whose first language are not English.

Now, I feel like I have to start the very new, effective way in getting into their minds. And I do believe, building such good psychological relationships are so important. Kids need to feel comfortable first with their teachers. I have to make them like me first to get their attention. Once they like me, it's just that easy  for me to conduct any approach or method in teaching them. 

Last... I feel so sorry, terribly sorry for some of the kids that need more attention from their parents. Needless to say, they all come from different way in parenting. And that leads to something crucial. No matter how great I am as a teacher, it is a certainty that no goals will be achieved without parents' supports.

 pic from http://lifeinfirstgrade1.blogspot.com/

L.O.V.E

Questioning title for a single ha!?
Whatever..

Love..for me it's universal. Universe... Uni and verse!? When two UNIques heart get UNIted TWOgether. When all VERSEs of thoughts get along TWOgether.

Love... I believe in that.. sometimes...not most of the time. And if there is a man who faces a woman and says he loves her in his very first sight, bet me.. he's not a good man. Nor a good guy. Just a billy came lately.
Come on.... we are at the end of 2011 and there are still some people who falls for first-time-appearance!? How does this man know if this girl love cheese but hates coke?How does this man know if this girl is a very-perfect-in-and -out. How come....

LOVE... is a process.. I do have faith on this. Being TWOgether,having good times,sharing thoughts,arguing a little..those are the process. and it alwys takes time.

LoVE is pure..no anger..no selfish..no rules..no plan..no evaluation....

for LoVErs..LiVE longer...